Obama The Grown Up ...Moving Forward and Healing America in a Contentious Enviornment

I've got to admit that during this campaign I haven't been as taken with Obama as some people have. I find myself too disappointed in the process as its been to believe in promises anymore. Maybe its age but these days I hang back with my heart until I see it all in motion. I'm not a true believer in a system being played as if any pure theory of government works without some overlap. The truth of political campaigns is that they are full of empty promises and ideas until its clear that the bodies are all in place and the votes are there to support a promised agenda. Even then, these plans, in the best case scenario, go into working mode with, hopefully, enough representation from the other side to balance, but not enough to stop progress. Somewhere along the line the spinners have convinced the American people that there isn't tremendous room for shaping the ideas that are set forth in these lofty speeches.

It seems to me that a President Obama will certainly go into office and get to work disassembling alot of what the Bushies have put in place, (a huge job,) but beyond that there is no guarantee that anything being said now will emerge from the process looking exactly like it does in the campaign promises. Those promises are merely outlines of ideas after all, and once the new President has spent 100 days putting things right and assigning committees to work on these ideas, they may turn out to be pretty different than what is being proposed in the heat of battle.

Of course, its by these beginnings of ideas that we get the idea of who the candidate is and what his direction is...right? Obama's ideals are hopeful and almost old fashioned in that we haven't heard much along those lines lately, This is the stuff that is so unusual in the climate that we've been living in as to elicit cries of socialism; surely dirty, right? It sounds that way, anyway...Or maybe it's a good overlapping part of any successful capitalistic government? Yeah, Obama is hopeful... and I feel almost hopeful...But its all promises, promises, promises to me until I see him actually get to work.

There is something so off about anyone wanting this job at this point in time. Wanting to drag their families and friends through the hazing and nonsense indicates something that used to be called public service but is now more akin to craziness. There is a fine line between being compelled to this kind of visible public service and pure narcissism, and in times like these, when things are so bad, the stakes are high, the candidates are bound to exhibit certain extremes of personality. What is it that the American people need at any given point? A cartoon cowboy full of swagger? A Lifetime movie of a POW?

John McCain certainly is extreme; the way he has plodded through his life is scary-reminiscent of a textbook narcissist, or the ones that too many of us grew up with, who also suffers from a range of battle related disorders. Being such a basic life failure in school and the military, and then only succeeding in government on the strength of his worst failure, must create a tremendous emotional split, and having to embrace his worst life experiences as his greatest triumph could only be repeated trauma...but the whole persona is built on that war hero so, what can he do?

Saturday's New York Times has a scathing article about Cindy McCain, who, even as a reportedly cold hard bitch, has seemingly done her time. My god, is this the 1950's in Stepford, or is she just really hardened by a life that was privileged and yet lacking in some crucial elements necessary to become a whole person? Maybe after enough years of decorating house after house and buying car after car you become the cunt that he says you are. I feel sorry for her, but as my Mom just said, this is no first lady of the United States! It sort of lays to rest all the worry about Michelle Obama, terrorist, in that at least she has some affect and empathy for the little people. Poor Cindy, Shes got to take that sack of pathology home after this is over and try to go on....and I don't care how rich she is, its not gonna be easy. Oh, I know they have separate lives, but he's sick and close to the end of being functional. I also believe that he may be at the end of his ongoing government aspirations on any level; even Arizona is not all so find of Johnny anymore, and he is not young enough to wait for the conservatives to swing around again.

Who are any of these candidates beyond what we project onto them? Why is it so easy for ad-men like Rove to write the outline of of what we take in? Maybe its the decline of the culture pushing our expectations into the gutter; we've grown so accustomed to being shown titillating pictures and uncovering dirty secrets, that without dancing girls and Jerry Springer fights we hardly even begin to show interest. Its a cruel realization that the National Enquirer usually does have the story first! Its a cruel realization that if there is a staffer to fuck or a bathroom to cruise, our leaders are there; truth: marriages end and everyone has cellulite and even celebrities look washed out without makeup. There are no statesmen with dignity, ethics, and morals, out there, as my Grandpa often says.... but actually Grandpa, there never really have been. Its all the morass of humanity come home to roost when the facade of civility gets wiped away by a public eager for scandal and a press that has an ever tightening bottom line. Society has changed; and it will likely change back again and again before this planet flicks the likes of us from its overburdened surface. We are always in a state of flux, but the question is that in the ongoing liberalization of our society how do we treat each other and where is the line between self realization and working together for the good of all?

The shocking Palinesque fringe underground and their forebears have been kept and fed not only by the likes of the Bush regime, but really since the beginning of social history as a part of the human condition. Nothing surprises me anymore, but this circus is a little further out there than I could imagine things flying, even after what we've witnessed in this country in the past 8 years. I suppose that remote areas spawn the more extreme belief in magic that alot of the reported religious practice is based on, and while not talking up the rapture and/or handling snakes, its a wonder that spaceships don't land and spirit the whole bunch of them away.

Yeah, I'm knee jerk opposed to any sort of evangelical movement because it takes spirituality and belief in God and removes the personal relationship and social responsibility of the individual in favor of the direction of the preacher and the movement of the group as a whole. In that atmosphere, even the most absurd becomes acceptable, and the reasoning and questioning part of any healthy spiritual quest is removed in favor of memorization of talking points....its a wonder that the recent powerbrokers in DC have made good use of these groups; they come as a fully formed army and they are very suggestible.

I know that they get the Internets out there in Alaska and in places like the wilds of Montana, and it seems odd to me that there isn't more dissent; I really don't believe that Alaska is full of Palin-like people, but it does also seem that remote rural areas of this country need services and education immediately; that certain areas in the deep south could really benefit from children's programs aimed at literacy and some vision of the big world that is out there. How can any young American citizen participate fully in our democracy if they don't understand how they fit into the their community, state, and the country, much less the world. It seems like its a huge disservice to all taxpayers to not educate everyone about civics, philosophy, and decision making. Maybe some people in some communities wont grasp the larger picture, but at least offering the knowledge might open some minds that might otherwise have remained closed...and really, its not like everyone in rural America is gonna rise up and participate, but they might participate locally or in their own families to the extent that they can. What is the fear out there of educating people? Oh yeah, they might not just lay down and take it.

On the heels of the presidential debates and alot of ugliness that has been shaken loose by the level of the McCain campaign, I have become more and more appreciative of Obama the grownup, who somehow manages to stand back and just watch, sorta shaking his head and smiling, as gramps McCain sprouts horns and snakes crawl from his mouth. I suppose that there is nothing more gratifying at this point than standing back and watching the old coot twitch, and unravel himself. Rather than taking him apart, which would have been just a little too easy, Obama just looks at it happen, as if he is in as much disbelief as every other right minded American has been all along.

These wingnuts need to be allowed to speak their minds, because apparently, after the past 8 years, there are enough levelheaded Americans, from all walks of life, who have finally and at long last, had enough. This is the time to examine whats in the snowball that Rovian political spin has been rolling downhill. Hearing it spoken is all we really need. Why any citizen might vote republican this time are clear cut and range from laziness to stupidity to selfish greed. I have searched and searched for some positive reason besides tax cuts which are, for the rich anyway, merely an immediate band aid representing more of a rollback than a proper cut. The recycled plans the McCain cites were largely already out there and rejected, and experts have explained why, regardless of how little people want to know of facts. There is no victory and no winning the Iraq war, and letting McCain follow his heart in replaying some shattered memory of his own past is crazy-suicidal for this country... And the way in which he might rip the throat from anyone who disagrees with him brings us full circle back to the sick old man who needs to go home to one of his houses and retire with whatever honor is left. Need I go on? The health plan, our right to privacy, the constitution, the power of the executive....my god, can we afford another moment of this social and political backsliding? THIS episode may be merely a blip in history but it sure hurts here on the ground.

I am in awe of the raw, sensational, crudeness of this underside beast unleashed seemingly by the dying gasp of the facade of a campaign that was built on a foundation of the ugliness of the depths of human depravity, living in some underground cave coveting it's Precious-rightfully-theirs. From the depths of Gollum's cave comes the fairy tale that even greedy-badness has a Smeagol side, fondly remembering friendship and love, softening at the edges before the ring snaps him back to the reality of losing this coveted thing.

The story can be read on the grimacing face of John McCain during events longer than a few minutes, and as he starts to lose it, blinking and wincing, trying to keep the man behind the curtain hidden, its so clear that he is spinning out of control, if not for a cadre of handlers who must have a hell of a job getting from point A to point B in one piece. In his face its apparent that this country has somehow lost an intangible element of reality versus the lies that we need to hear to make the way we've been living over the past 8 years OK. I'm afraid that whats gone on will make it impossible for even a middle of the road liberal politician to do much of anything in the next term...but then...but then, even in my fugue state of driving around looking at the houses and cars behind the McCain lawn signs and wondering what went wrong there; what goes on in those houses that allows those people to be so blind and hateful?... I'm feeling the hope of the landslide and trying to not be hurt by every McCain sticker and sign out there. Because there is really no excuse anymore...as if it could be simply "taxes" or "I'm so selfish that I don't give a crap about anyone else," because that's the way its been shown to us on TV...he's a hero and has experience...we're afraid?I'm tired of excuses based on weakness and fear.

When did it become OK to not care about our neighbors? When did it become OK to question the patriotism of others because they have different ideas than we do?...when did it become OK to shut down the exchange of ideas that allows the democratic ideal to flourish? And when did it become OK to loudly proclaim that fantasy and lies are reality and truth, forget questioning because they won't answer questions (insert wink and head tilt here.)

I look at the McCain signed houses around here and examine the houses and cars trying to figure it all out. Downtown I see families with kids getting out of Hummers or Porsche SUV's and I wonder what went wrong there. What message is anyone sending by having a vehicle that costs so much, is a "war" vehicle, burns unnecessarily large amounts of fuel, and yells aggressively to the community a message that I cant quite fathom. I want to take the hands of those people and ask them what the problem is...were they abused somehow? have they felt attacked during this obviously profitable time for them? What is it...whats happened? Because, they couldn't have been so short sighted to have thought that any of this could possibly go on, could they?

The past 8 years have been full of so much backsliding on hard won social progress, and if our society is to continue at all we have to get back on that track. It involves maybe a little bit more insight and courage than we are encouraging our kids to have via education, and that may be what was the plan. But if logic at least prevails, a society that cares for its weakest members and provides preventative care also saves money in the long run, (that's after the rapture, for any fundies out there... the left behind will need something to rebuild with, afterall.) The windfall may very well be over for this select few and it may be a time when America reconnects with the middle class; America is a country of the middle class and for the middle class, and the promise of being able to own a little piece of it and get your kids some bit of education is not yet cold in the ground...Maybe this Obama guy with his calm demeanor and no nonsense attitude can get some of that back.

The political seasons pass and it could well be that those who profited on what amounts to alot of destructive ugliness over the past 8 years, had better have socked away the nuts for a long winter. We could be hitting some lean times, and the coming times may require that you put your hummer in the garage and take your aggressive public stance underground where those like you will sleep and regain strength for the next go round. Its time for the middle class to rebuild our country and to try to find their hearts under the hard shell built up after too many days of hard work to try to make ends meet in the trickle up economy of yesterday. Its time to bring the jobs back home and invest in our education system so that we have American workers that can do those jobs.

Ultimately I find myself liking the fatherly Obama, all full of hope and ideals, all sacrificial and willing to give his time and energy to the thankless next 8 years, which heaven knows can go either way. Just that smile and shake of the head shows us all what we know; that this is all bullshit, and it has been bullshit for too long, and now there will be people in charge who are grownups, and who know whats gone wrong...I hope so anyway. I assume nothing anymore...I count on no one.... But, since I first saw Obama speaking to a full stage of democrat candidates over a year ago, he has matured and grown into the stature and body of President of the United States. I can see it now, but I'm not over the moon because realistically, any movement is gonna take time, and the American attention span doesn't lend itself to anything less than a speedy and full recovery complete with flat screen TVs and trips to Disney Land. I really long to breathe a sigh of relief and just retire from all of this thinking about the country and the state of things, but I don't see that happening anytime soon.

Midnight in America...Waiting for the Other Shoe...And Considering Obama Among the Wreckage....

...This is the America of the lucky, folks...the luck of the Russian-Irish/Catholic-jew, where a girl from Brooklyn wakes up in a cottage in the woods to find that her young hens have decided to start laying...
How did I get here? Pure luck...hard work...kindness in the face of anger and dysfunction....but, probably really just sheer tenacity and luck...
It's that pie-in-the-sky America that is hard for me to understand; like the lottery and the forces of nature that decided not to flood my basement or throw a tree on my house...or what made me live through it all, and how did I get through all of these years.


And its the middle management America of getting by, but looking towards the sky for the other shoe falling, while others who I have, by some sort of divine intervention crossed paths and become close with, can barely buy food or go to the doctor as opposed to heat and electricity...and what that could possibly mean in the scheme of the richest country in the world, that made me look to John Edwards as a light in the proceedings that have been grinding forth for these long months...
And now? I'm waiting, like I always do, for the other shoe, whistling to earth like the road-runner's anvil, and in that Edwards will endorse Hillary, thus making my last drop of faith just a salty circle on the sand, proving that none of this is real or true, and all we can do is the busywork of trying to move, snail like, towards some outcome that will be a blip on future historical time lines of the rise and falls of empires just like this one...
If this is the pyramid stone that we are spending our entire lives dragging across the desert in order to complete some monument to the empire, then so be it...Who ever told any of us that we were any more special than anyone else? ...our brothers and sisters who are hungry around the world, or those who live in war torn countries looking heavenward for a bomb, much less a shoe?
Its all just luck...and we could be them, as easily as they could be us...and that "myfriends" is the very foundation of our society's more socialist tendency's, which are....surprise!...the very things that make us who we are!!

I know who I am. Who are you?

I'll just enjoy my eggs for now...enjoy my chickens...and try to figure what comes next.
Of whats left in this race, besides the coming heartbreak of thinking one thing and the dawning realization of another, I like the danger of Obama. Tell me that you are not sure of his experience and if he can get anything done, and I am interested....because the safety of the same old beer with a buddy at the bar is what got us into this place, and the only times that America has really shone in its founding ideals is when some brave people took a flying chance and let the chips fall where they would. Sometimes thats a life or death decision, and sometimes its folly, but it always has historical significance, and more importantly, those moments have had a real effect on we Americans , and how we view the evolution of our society. In fact, those people and those moments have been the shining moments of discovery, invention, and the words and actions that make us who we tell ourselves we are...or who we strive to be...a more perfect union, and kinder, more humane, beings.
When I was a young girl, I stood on a crowded curved street in Chinatown, holding my mom's hand, and watched as RFK Sr. drove through on the back of an old Cadillac convertible, waving. His brother had been shot, and he could've easily been shot there in the middle of the dense crowd, moving slowly past that old orthodox church with the tiny fair in the back complete with live goldfish to win and an erector-set sorta ferris wheel, knowing the danger and still grabbing hold of the moment to say the words that would be part of history....that would change my world as yellowing newspaper clips on the wall over Mom's old radio in the dark dining room in Brooklyn, where she sat for hours listening to talk radio in her grandmother's rocking chair.

So bring on the instability and unsureness of Obama over the same old Clintonian bureaucracy any day...bring it on quickly...because I've lost my faith in almost every part of this thing that I have been hanging on to and trying to believe in. And all thats anymore left is to tell myself that this piece of history is way to tiny for us to see the effect...way too tiny to matter in our lifetimes...and the real faith here has to be that what we do today will be realized by our children and their children...right?...and, that takes a kind of faith that I may spend the rest of my life trying to muster and I blindly move forward trying to divine whats right in this circumstance...as if we could ever imagine that what would be put forth would NOT be impeachment, criminal investigation, jail...a big change....Is there even a question? I don't know how to do anything else but watch and wait and chronicle this as best I can....

easy over or scrambled?